Today India stands riddled with corruption, moaning to keep itself from falling apart. A stand off between the peaceful protests and the tenuous silence of the politicians and policy makers is an eye lash away from things radically changing – one way or another.

it seems like the right time to ask where does corruption start? And if we found its source could we perhaps nip it in bud?

To try and answer that question, it would be essential to ask a few more questions. If you can answer honestly, we’ll come closer to some resolution. 1.Would you never have an underage employee?

2. Would you never whizz through traffic lights because you know that the worst will be you’ll have to bribe the cop?

3. Have you never cheated anyone of money?

4. Do you pay all your taxes?

5. Do you vote?

6. Do you seriously believe that all people in this country should have equal opportunities?

7. Have you never used your “connections” to get your work done?

8. Have you ever tried to find out what goes on in villages?

9.Does the status of the poor person in this country concern you?

If you answered no to anyone of those questions ( I answered no to two of them) then the perhaps we contributed to the money going into the Swiss accounts.

Many of you may not be able to come here and sit with Anna or fast with him or go on candle light marches. But we would make a fine start (and actually much finer) if we started by changing our minds.

Freedom and Independence are perhaps the most frequently used words today. We want them, we fight for them, we ache for them, we abuse them, and we think many people don’t deserve them. And yet, if we were asked to define them, we would each have a hard time doing that.

The reason for this is that Independence isn’t a badge you can wear or a sorority you join. It’s not like one can sign on a form, shake a hand and clink some glasses and say – “Ok I’m independent now”.

Independent is how you feel. You feel that way despite everything. It is something that one is compelled to be. In each of your life’s endeavours, in the way you live, in the way to act - you know that you’re following some deep code that agrees with you. In that sense being independent is the bravest thing one can do.

It is knowing that you’re about to trapeze without the safety net. And if you make it to the other side – you can celebrate, and if you don’t…well you’ll have to get up on your own, clean the mess and move on. And yet you’re compelled because there doesn’t seem another way that is right enough.

Independence will grant you freedom. Freedom… to do as you please, to say what you want, to go where you want to go, to be with whom you want and so-on. So essentially you must first know what you want, where you want to go, whom you want to be with. That then is an ever changing, shape shifting entity, and an eternal quest.

Independence and Freedom are very hard work. Self analysis, standing ground, holding on to what one believes, working on one’s own faults…the job is endless.

No wonder then that we quickly surrender to the ambit of convention, habit and the daily humdrum. No trapeze, no nets, no falling and no recovering. Just safely walk holding the wall…

Sixty-three years since we were declared free – it’s time to stand up and let go of the wall. Stand tall, take the chance to fall…. (Inadvertent poetry!).

Perhaps every person who is reading this blog knows that sex ratios in India have dipped over the last ten years. We had 927 females for a 1000 males in 2001, now there are just 914. These figures emerged from the 2011 census of India.

Is that shocking? Should it make us sit up and take stock of how “developed” we really are? Should every Indian be worried about this trend? The answer to all these questions is of course an absolute YES. And yet if one goes by the reactions one can’t really be sure that the response is as equivocal.

My next feature film titled “Kajarya” has the declining sex ratios at the centre of it. The film looks at 2011 India – it’s a contemporary drama set in the “new” India. And so I’ve been talking to people about the issue.

Politicians tut-tut, allocate resources and carry on. Most social work organisations are in conferences – they’re trying to work out what the politically correct line should be and what route they should take. The reactions from others range from the sane centred to the insane right. And others don’t seem concerned at all, they say - “Its good for women – they’ll be more sought after”. The people who make this statement don’t know that in states where sex ratios are low, the crimes against women is way higher than anywhere else. In Punjab and Haryana they’re importing women from other states for a price – amongst many other atrocities against women.

Others who are concerned say – “This is terrible – low sex ratios will mean that men won’t have women to marry”. The disturbing nature of this concern gives most people a miss – in their minds, the only reason a women is alive is so she can marry a man.

Perhaps I’m making it sound like there are no people in India who believe that the killing of baby girls is heinous. That of course is not true either – but there proportion is low.

To think that we’re missing so many many wonderful women and girl children seems appalling, even unthinkable.

Yesterday I spent the better part of the day sitting at Jantar Mantar along with many others protesting against corruption in the country and supporting Anna Hazare who is fasting for this cause.

What I discovered there is that there are 200 others who are also fasting along with him. One of the people sitting near me was Mahesh. He is in his early thirties and is a business analyst from Chennai. He flew down to Delhi when he heard about Anna Hazrare’s protest. He says that in Chennai the din of the election media has drowned out all other issues and so he found out a day late. Disgusted by the bartering and trading for votes that is happening in Chennai (apparently Laptops, mixers grinders and even houses are on offer for votes), he decided to leave everything and come and fast to end corruption. Ironically he does not understand a word of Hindi. And so he could not understand Swami Agnivesh’s rousing speech where he talked about fighting to death to rid the country of the indignity of corruption. He could also not understand Anna Hazare’s conversation with the press where he likened the government to a married woman who professes that she is married and faithful but refuses to wear the “Teeka” or mark of being married. He asked cheekily – “Now if you’re faithful to the cause why don’t you want to make a mark of commitment?”.

And yet Mahesh is going to sit – indefinitely, till the anti-corruption clauses are incorporated in the Lok Pal Bill and it is passed in the correct form. And he is only one of the many who are there protesting and fasting unto death.

Later yesterday evening I marched with many others (including my two nephews) to India Gate. It was my first time at a candle light march. Needless to say it was moving.

So many are joining the cause but there are still not as many as those who took to the streets after the world cup. And so more people need to march and protest. Please step out and protest. And spread the word, this could make the difference between you having a life of dignity or not.

Things are getting super competitive and everyone is feeling the pressure. There are so many reasons to be insecure and so few to be happy with what we have. For most its become a hundred metre dash, get from point a to b(e) and as fast possible, everyone else is seen as competition that needs to be beaten. This attitude permeates every part of our lives, anyone else is a threat and somehow their loss is considered a gain for everyone else. Nepotism, manipulation, string pulling and all other time wasting and useless things come out of this insecurity.

In all this crazy scuffling what we really lose sight of is the fact that the race (if it’s that at all!), is actually more a baton relay. Someone before us ran, and handed us something that we now have to carry forward and ultimately hand over to someone else. And this is true at all times and in every sphere of our lives. We are only constantly carrying what is handed to us and should do our best with it and know that ultimately it will pass-on!

If you live in cities and live on your own terms, you can be led to believe that women in India are actually quite liberated and have now equalled men.

In direct contrast to this is what is being said and what is happening in the entire northern belt of India.

While researching my next film on Khap Panchyats I have come across men and women who vehemently support the view that women marrying in their gotra or subcaste (which is banned within the village) should be killed – in the name of honour. They argue for  it like its the most natural thing in the world.  Like all people who go against the diktats of society should be killed.

However, its important to see that the honour killings that are taking place in India are now no longer restricted to the areas that have Khap Panchayats. Its like a virus that’s spreading. It’s as though the seeds of bigotry existed and somehow the killings of these couples have become manure for them to sprout and spread like weeds. Women and couples are being killed in Punjab, Uttar Pradesh, Delhi…. and none of them have anything to do with the Khaps.

So infact these killings are a reaction to women making their own choices. In twenty first century India, with an economic growth of eight or nine percent, women and men are being murdered by their own families for daring to make choices.

To think that everyday of our lives, many of us make so many choices that we are sometimes exhausted and baffled by the amount of choices we need to make. Not just choices of who we will marry, but who we will sleep with or not sleep with ( which is a much more liberating choice many of my sisters will agree!), where we should spend our money, which city/country we should live in, we can we vegans and vague ones and no one will care.

At the same time there are these honour killings.  One thing is for sure, there is largely no real love or appreciation for the new choice making Indian woman.

In the meanwhile I found a Haryanvi love song, which goes “Jo love marriage karlee tumne mera papa katega” (If you have a love marriage, my papa will bite)….so damned appropriate and it’s just refusing to leave my head….

Last night I was watching a film in a theatre and it started to go down the melodrama, predictable route. Near me a woman was huffing and puffing in frustration at having to watch the film. Finally she said, “They gave this four stars? Ghoose khaate hain salle,  “(They’re all bribed)”.

Of course right now as millions die of hunger in this country and countless others are fighting for survival, the only thing the media and we can talk about is the cricket crisis. Some are disturbed by the bribing, fixing etc but others are mostly accepting of the fact that “it happens”.

And then later at night, I had the umpteenth conversation, with the umpteenth single person, who said to me that he/she is ok with relationships of convenience and something transitory because the love relationships always disappoint so “convenience is okay”

I don’t know if its just me but this consistent lack of faith really disturbs me, does it bother you?

The question that comes to my mind is – why would we want to stand short changed? Why not go for the big ones? The really happy, the really honest, the really true and clear?

What we need now are many many Rumis and Einsteins, people who’s faith turned their lovers into gods (really!) and people who’s faith helped see through matter and realise that it’s all quite relative…..

This year some of the best films to come out of Hollywood have been about “the other world”. The world of faith and beauty and in some way the coming of age of humanity. Avataar, Alice in Wonderland and now the Book Of Eli.

In contrast. Our best films of 2009-2010, have been odes to reality. It’s like we’re digging deeper in to the earth to uncover some secrets that cinema in India never really revealed. In doing that, we’re following. (stylistically atelast) the same path the western and even far eastern films followed about ten or fifteen years ago.

If films are a reflection of society, or at least the films that do well at the box office somehow mirror what society is looking for, then what does it say about the mindset of the rest of the world and what does it say for our mindset?

The last two weeks have been interesting. There’s the women’s reservation bill and a woman winning an oscar as a director. Every  where I go people direct all conversations regarding the two topics to me. One man said he thought reservation for women in politics will make men hate women even more (such a loaded sentence it could break the back of all political correctness and bury it under!). Another friend called me up and was very angry because a “lesser” film had won the oscar just because it was time for a woman to win it. I have to say I said nothing in response (a sign of my internal growth I’m sure) but what I was DYING to say is this:

So women will have 33% reservation in parliament, it’ll hopefully kick start something that will lead to happier lives. The world is skewed and needs some balance. You can’t have a nation that is losing women by the second and call it progressive of even developing.  The fact that women are being killed should alarm us but it doesn’t….women in politics will change this. Hopefully a more balanced world will emmerge. And of course a new skewed individuals will have problems with it, so to hell with them.

And as far as a woman winning an Oscar is concerned. When has the really deserving film been awarded? When it happens, it’s momentous but rarely happens. But individuals who are good at what they do get recognised. And it really was about time a woman director won the oscar because for too long women and their cinematic language has been given a somewhat “alternative” tag. But the world is changing and people are looking for variations and authenticity in expression. And this is really a stitch in time.

It’s great times for the world….things are coming in to balance.

And so the year is at an end. And what a year it’s been - a not so hot economy, climate change and rising prices …For me too, the year was a difficult and good one. Like a hard taskmaster I am grateful for it’s lessons but now I am not unhappy to see it go.

So what are the year’s lessons? Caution? Worldly Wiseness? Steeling Oneself? Watching out for oneself alone? I think that should have been it but strangely, the more I see of those who propagate these values as a way of growing up and living in the world, the less I think of them. Instead i feel like every thing that happened pointed towards trusting instinct and losing fear and bias and having the courage to move forward uninhabited. And the guardian angels are all around, there’s been such a lot of help and encouragement it’s just amazing.  It’s so simple - love and trust in the world makes it so much easier to live in.

And I hope I can pass some of it on in the years to come.

Like the rings on a tree trunk, each year will mark the fact that we are getting  bigger, stronger and capable of reaching out further to extend love and support to those who need it.

Here’s wishing you all a very very happy new year - full of love and abundance.