Thanks for the good words on my earlier blog and Pooja do share with us what you know has been said/written about women’s fantasies.

Well as vivek said, its the difference between complicated and straight forward that probably sets apart male and female fantasies. A case in point is B.babu’s comment - ilikefriendsandrelationship! To tell you the truth I also likefriendsandrelationship :-). But for me the space in between is swimmy and lovely, like a bubble bath. Hmmmmm….

Yesterday I was a judge on a contest to find a Radio Jockey for the Meow 104.8 fm channel, it was great because about eighty women turned up. Women of all sorts, from small towns, to big metros, married, single, mothers, single mothers and married but without kids and so-on, in many ways they were so differnt as people that their only intersection was their gender and their utter bravery to come and speak in front of so many people. There were men as well, most of them were onlookers  and some men who auditioned as well. I was for the most part really astonished by how varied the viewpoints were. One woman said “If a man dominates me its a sign of his love for me. Because if he is dominating me then he won’t look at other women”. Well! What can i say? I tried to ask her of she really thought that was true, and at the end I realised that she had love and dominance somewhat mixed up. Another woman said that if she earned more than her man, and he had a problem with it, he should go get a life. A man in the audience was clearly offended by that, ‘What about peace? I mean a woman should do things to keep the peace” he said. I was wondering if he meant “piece”, as in women are a “piece”  and they should therefore earn less than men or something. Well different strokes for different folks i guess!

The real moment of the audition came when, I asked the women “So whats your fantasy man like?”. Without exaggeration, what followed was a deluge of expression, they were snatching microphones and talking over each other. Fantasyitic stuff!

One woman said her fantasy man would come on a white horse, like a knight and “ride away with me in to the sunset”. Another had a huge problem with that “Thats so platonic, I fantasise about a man who has a great body because my husband’s a little overweight”, another said “I dream of being under water with a man and then la la la la la” ( i decoded the la la la la to be a description of something less platonic than swimming), another said “In a  woman’s fantasy, a man always understands her”. And then it started running out of control and we had to stop it and return to the audition.

First I sighed with relief  and thought - thank god I’m not the only one and thank god the film is so spot on. And then it got me thinking how the woman’s fantasy is actually a portal to her real desires. Are the fantasies a metaphor for a larger desire?

By the way, my fantasy man’s moving in a little closer. Today, was a day when my blackberry was not hooting its head off and the phones weren’t blaring  so i got time to take a closer look. He’s the kind of guy you really can relax around. When you spend your life interacting with so many people who want things from you, it’s so nice to have a man who can relax you and you can be yourself around him. Don’t you think? Like Mandakini said - someone who lets you dance instead of making you stop.

Tomorrow I am on radio Meow 104.8 fm, somewhere in the evening. I”m certainly going to get more views on women’s idea of fantasy.

Its a lovely sunny and somewhat cool morning in mumbai. I can see the sea lapping at the shore as I write this, and its silent enough for me to hear the birds, the sea and even the cows! From the floor of my flat I can smell lemon grass wafting its way in to my senses as shobha mops it in. I know its two weeks to the release of my film and I should be wound up and anxious, but my minds going off  in another direction. FANTASY!!!

Now I dont know how it works with everyone else, but thats my hiding place. Fantasy is the place where no one will tell you its “not possible”, “you’re wrong”, “it costs too much”. So when in doubt I skip off to fantasy land. Today my fantasy revolves around….hmmmmm…let me think, how should I say this gently? Well let me just say it as it is - a man. Although I’m sure you’re not keeling over with the excitement of this revelation, but you might be anticipating a description.

To start with this man, is my friend, he’s not my boyfriend  - yet! My fantasy man, has a sense of humour and ease with himself. I think its important for a man to not be threatened by a woman’s success but love her for it. And he agrees with me. He can be charming without being cliched, and make me laugh till i dont care about anything else.

I remember while reading Erica Jong’s “Fear of Flying”, the iconic book that discusses women’s fantasies in a sexual way, she talks about how the fantasy is so sexual for her. She talks about variety and locations and all sorts of things.

It gets me thinking, what are our predominant fantasies, are they platonic friendships with men who make us laugh? Or sexual encounters? Or both? 

I mean men’s fantasies are pretty easy to decode, godamnit there’s a whole industry that looks after that! Its funny to think that so much has been said and done about men’s fantasies, but absolutely next to nothing has been said about women’s fantasies.

Thats perhaps because our space is a little more delicate, a little more winded and perhaps linked to the degress of supression that bind us.

I am hoping that we and men, can talk about this, freely, here! Our fantasies and their fanatsies, your fantasies now and your fantasies then…the whole gamut. Brinnnnnng it on!