Happiness has zero reason. And thats why its so damned precious. Happiness is her own mistress, she will enter and exit as and when she wants and I reckon she’ll stay longer if you dont try to hold on to her or give her any reasons.

Take my situation for one - I mean I’ve had times when things were near perfect and I was so deeeeeeeeeply, wretchedly unhappy. And now- I have a hundred reasons to worry and fret, over and only about a ten to be really happy, and so there’s no logic to why I feel so so so so so happy. I know this state, and usually it comes and goes. This time however, I’m not waiting on it - I’m just enjoying it.

 Today I was walking by a DVD rack in a store and I saw my film. All this time, I used to look away because I so hated the design and how little the cover represented the film.  But today, I was really happy to see that it’s still alive! And so I bought a copy for a giggle - it made me happy to think that  I am actually buying a copy of something I made.

So to all those reading this - i want to pass on my smiles. I want to tell you, that no matter what happens, no one can take you away from you. And that should make you fearless and ready to take life and kiss it slow and easy and feel it unfurl itself for you in all its splendour.

Oh and thanks so much Amit for loving my film - its so reassuring!

Here I am in hot Ludhiana. On a film that my company is line producing. I was so looking forward to it because I thought this would be a great opportunity to work with an international crew and some new people. Instead its turned out be a somewhat lukewarm experience (a euphemisim to say the least). So now I have sort of  resigned myself to the situation and spend most of my time sitting back and watching.

Looking at all the confusion here, the level of total involvement, the amount of emotional turmoil - i find myself asking, why would one do this? Why do so many people agonise  over something that people watch over popcorn and more often than not forget? Every friday the halls are full of films, people warch some and forget most. 

I think it’s because we have a false sense of our immortality. We have the feeling that we are creating something forever. And then there are some of us  who just love the magic of translating pieces of paper in to a huge audio visual treat. But with time I’m beginning to see that one has to do this with some degree of distance or it can devour you.

Also, producers and financiers take undue advantage of the fact that people who make films -  love doing it for the sake of it. And so they are constantly in danger of being exploited. Therefore keeping that distance keeps the perspective.

And so here I am, for the first time in my life, able to step back and watch. It’s a strange new but nice feeling. Its comfy.