Posted on: June 6, 2009 - 3:32 am

Here I am in hot Ludhiana. On a film that my company is line producing. I was so looking forward to it because I thought this would be a great opportunity to work with an international crew and some new people. Instead its turned out be a somewhat lukewarm experience (a euphemisim to say the least). So now I have sort of  resigned myself to the situation and spend most of my time sitting back and watching.

Looking at all the confusion here, the level of total involvement, the amount of emotional turmoil - i find myself asking, why would one do this? Why do so many people agonise  over something that people watch over popcorn and more often than not forget? Every friday the halls are full of films, people warch some and forget most. 

I think it’s because we have a false sense of our immortality. We have the feeling that we are creating something forever. And then there are some of us  who just love the magic of translating pieces of paper in to a huge audio visual treat. But with time I’m beginning to see that one has to do this with some degree of distance or it can devour you.

Also, producers and financiers take undue advantage of the fact that people who make films -  love doing it for the sake of it. And so they are constantly in danger of being exploited. Therefore keeping that distance keeps the perspective.

And so here I am, for the first time in my life, able to step back and watch. It’s a strange new but nice feeling. Its comfy.